Do we need a Spiderman in Mumbai?

Last evening watching the Amazing Spiderman in 3D was a great experience. It really made me think why Indians don't have a good super hero. I don't count Krrish in the list, thanks to the emotional melodrama Rakesh Roshan adds to the story. I don't consider Ra.One ever to be a part of the list for the kind of torture our film audience went through and Drona, well let's just keep him out of the equation. 

But honestly, what made me also think is what if Spiderman was real and existed in Mumbai? There is obviously a huge difference between being a super hero and being a Mumbaikar. So why doesn't Mumbai have it's own super hero?

Thinking hard on this note, here are 5 reason I think why a Spider-man doesn't exist in our city;

1.) Is that a spider boil. Oh wait! That’s a heat boil:

Imagine a super hero, jumping around the city every morning trying to save the city. During the summers, it would be a site to watch him, with that skin tight body suite, scratching around his body, panting after jumping few blocks and dying out of thirst. Trust me Spidy, your villains need not make efforts to plan out a strategy to kill you, they might just wait for the Indian summers to do the job.

2.) Save the world or save our relationship:

Yes it’s difficult to handle a relationship and also be a super hero at the same time. Imagine one fine day you come back home all tired and you expect a big hug and some good moments with your girl friend and all you hear from here is, ‘you save the world only; you don’t want to save our relationship. You care about everyone in the city but me. I don’t think this is working.’

You know that’s the moment you always waited for, but then you also realise that she knows your deepest darkest secrets. So you really can’t afford to break up with her. I know I know, life can be a messier than those webs you left behind for BMC people to clean up.

3.) Fine of 500 rupees or jail for 1 year or get married.

Spiderman, if you recollect never had an active sex life before he became a super hero. So once he became a super hero, he got the hottest chick in his college, his testosterone levels reached the peak and he starts making out frequently, anywhere and almost everywhere. The only problem is that, in India, one day if the government before the elections decides to raid PDA parties and catch people and get them arrest as a social responsibility and for the betterment of the society, Spidy would top the list of being caught in such scandals. What would follow is embarrassing because being a super hero you don’t want to end up paying fines, getting arrested or the least get yourself married to a girl.

4.) Maa don’t call me Chunnu, I’m a super hero now!

No matter how old you grow, your mother will never treat you like a super hero. Imagine you save a family from falling from a bridge and you hear your mom screaming out of joy, from the bridge saying, 'well done chunnu, proud of you'. That moment kills everything you ever needed, The family you saved starts laughing hard on you, rolling on the floor. Wait, that's not all, being a mother the melodrama has to follow. Before you leave to save the city, your mother would pack lunch in a dabba and tell you not to eat outside food and also she would stitch a zip in your suite so that you can pee easily and frequently.

 Apart from this, it would also be difficult to survive in India as a super-hero. Really, like imagine;

• If he illegally crosses the signal even while he is flying, he would have to pay fine to the pandu.

• For the sake of survival and his high 

maintenance girlfriend, he would have to consider taking part in roadies or Indian Idol to earn money, since there is no scope for Bio-technology in India

• He would need a flying license to fly around the city

• Can't drink and fly, he would be caught by Dhoble or would simply appear in SMJ's next episode for the alcohol abuse activities inspite beating up the bad guys and saving the country

• He would be a mix breed of a spider and a mosquito if he stays in a area like Dharavi or Sion

• He would be stonned to death by Shiv Sena party members for PDA during the Valentines day

• Ram Goapl Varma would want to make a movie on him

• Some day if his web stopped working, he would have to consider taking the local trains

That's a lot of problems to face being a super hero. So now I see why this city really doesn't need one super hero because in this city everyone is a hero in their own way. Right from the middle class people who travel in the ever-crowded local trains or those people who get stuck in the traffic after their tiring day, to those young students who try to fight for what's right, to those dabba-walas who work so hard everyday so that you get your lunch on time, to those ladies who handle their house and work at the same time. We don't need a super hero to save us. We need the people to come forward and simply understand that with great responsibilities comes great powers(intentional tweaked).So the point still remains, do we really need a super-hero?